I need someone to keep an eye on me. No really. Throughout the past 3/4 of a year, I went from working out 4-5 times a week at the gym to working out at home to eventually getting my 10k steps in and stretching daily. It’s been a heck of a change for my body and the stretching hasn’t been bad, but it doesn’t burn the 500-600 calories I used to burn at the gym. I spend more time at home thus I’m watching more YouTube and TV and while I’m doing that I’ve been eating. I don’t feel like cooking. So I order UberEats.

When I order UberEats, about half of the time I’m good about splitting my meal in to 2. Now this is good if the meal is 600 calories, but I’m pretty sure between my wings and Mexican food, that it’s more on the 2000 calorie scale. Oof! It’s not really because I don’t want to cook, it’s more like… I don’t want to eat the same thing every day, nothing tastes better than what I order, so I go for the easiest option.

I order this food, I eat it, I’m stuffed. About 2 hours later I want to snack on something. Am I hungry? No. I tell myself specifically, “You’re not even hungry, why are you getting food right now?” Inevitably the answer is that I want to taste something. Really I’m bored and I want something to do.

Sometimes I go to bed and if I haven’t eaten something I get hungry in the middle of the night. I figured this issue out by eating a packet of oatmeal around 8pm, but that gets old pretty fast.

I made a decision watching Doogie Howser the other day. Am I kidding? No. There was an episode and MAN I will tell you, if it came out in this day and age, Doogie would have been gone after that episode. It was about a girl who, I wouldn’t even say was that overweight. As a matter of fact, I would go as far as to say she probably weighs what I weigh right now. Now yes, I’m overweight right now, but she didn’t look THAT bad.

In the episode, she was Wanda’s (Doogie’s girlfriend) cousin. Doogie wanted to go out with Wanda and they were only able if the cousin had a date. Of course Vinnie (Doogie’s best friend) took one for the team. When he saw her he was staring because she was so “huge”. In the end, Vinnie actually liked the cousin but the cousin couldn’t get past how “huge” SHE was. She was used to people giving her a hard time and she had an even harder time accepting that Vinnie might like her.

The cousin went to Doogie, as a physician, to see if he had any quick fixes. He found out she was a binge-eater and directed her to some help. He also made her realize she was her own problem when it came to Vinnie. Vinnie actually thought she was pretty cool. He told her that in order for her to lose the weight she wanted to, she had to make the decision that she would take the necessary steps or it would never happen.

I was sitting there watching it and I realized that I had never, consciously, made the decision that I wanted to do what it takes to lose the weight. I mean, I was working out, getting my steps in, but I had never, actually decided I wanted to get my eating in check. That night I decided I needed to do just that.

In the days following that decision I contemplated some options. Noom. Weight Watchers. Keep doing MyFitnessPal. Eventually I thought I would like to try Weight Watchers because mom had done it and had really good results. Like, look at my mom, she is finally happy with where she is, she’s lost the weight she wanted to. She looks really good.

Following THAT decision, I couldn’t bring myself to actually sign up. Like, I was planning on it, but I wasn’t quite ready to relinquish the freedom. I started eating and eating and eating. Finally, this past Friday night, after I finished my 10k steps; after I did my daily stretching; I made my nachos and tracked it in MyFitnessPal. I looked at it and realized that for the past month or so I have been over my calories by at least 500 every day. I had to do something.

Saturday I signed up for Weight Watchers in the afternoon, after I had already had breakfast and lunch. I’ll tell you what, if that wasn’t an eye opener as I was tracking my calories. There are so many options on there that are basically freebies and I had managed to eat none of them. I decided to start “for real” the following day so I could manage my points from the morning instead of starting after I had already ruined everything.

So here goes. I’m ready to make the change. I’m ready to feel healthy again.