Admittedly I’ve been on the online dating apps here as of late. I truly dislike dating this way but I also don’t like going to a bar to pick up guys. It’s like, I want to date someone who will go to a bar with me and get along with my friends but I don’t necessarily want the first time we meet to be when we are both drinking. Inhibitions are low. Sometimes we act like completely different people. That’s not how I want the first time meeting someone to go.
Most recently I have been on Facebook Dating. The guys in there seem to be local and at first they seemed to be much more genuine. I met a great guy on there and even went out on a couple of dates with him. That said, almost every conversation in my list of potentials it says that it is “my turn” to respond. I WANT to respond. Give me something to work with though. This is my main problem. If I show interest in them, I take some time to type out a question or something funny that would invoke conversation. If he responds and just answers my question, nothing more, or just says “hi” or “haha” – that’s not even attempting to be a part of a conversation. That’s the very least effort you can put forward while at least putting some effort in. Maybe he wants me to chase him. Maybe it’s me? Maybe I’m trying to be uncomfortably engaging? I’m not sure. What I do know is that I’m not going to waste my time on someone who isn’t going to take any time or make any effort to get to know me back.
One thing I should mention is that these men I am talking about, we matched. They saw my pic and profile and swiped me right. They are interested enough to swipe me right. Sometimes they will message me first. I will respond and try to keep the conversation going. Eventually they taper off or their response is such a mess I realize I’m just not interested in them. I know I’m not going to be interested in every guy on a dating app. I know not every guy I talk to on the dating app is going to enjoy talking to me…. but almost every guy that I have spoken to, with exception to maybe 3-4 that I decided they were too negative, I didn’t like how they spoke to me or they were just to far away, have responded to something with a 1 word answer and/or nothing for me to work with in a conversation.
Get it together fellas! I’m looking for a partner. Not only someone for sexy times (which come on, most everyone wants someone they’re attracted to for that), but someone who I can share my life with and they can share their life with me. I want to be able to communicate with each other, and if you can’t even communicate in a short conversation on a dating app, how will you communicate in a relationship? It just doesn’t add up.
Some of the guys on the app have this sentence in their profile “If you’re going to ghost me, swipe left.” I don’t think any girl swipes you right and then plans on ghosting you. It’s you bud. You’re the problem. Talk to me. Have a conversation. Be engaging. Once I feel comfortable around you, I will go out on a date with you. If I don’t know you at all, I’m not going to go. I’m not even going to give you my number yet. Thems the rules. I’m not going to put in 100% effort talking to you if you’re going to put in 10%. That’s just not fair.
Dating in 2023 is awful. There has to be a better way!