This candle came out recently. Every year Bath & Body Works discontinues it at the end of fall and then re-introduces it in their new branding at the end of summer – for fall. I would have never known about this candle had I not gone over to my Aunt Susi’s house one day and it smelled like Heaven.

At Susi’s Memorial, my mom and Aunt Debbie had found one of these candles at Sus’s and they were burning it. I was standing there, trying to be strong, talking to my cousin when I smelled it. I started hunting for the smell. Is it Shelby’s hair? Is it somebody’s perfume? Then it hit me… it was Susi’s house… it was a Pumpkin Pecan Waffles Candle. Everyone saw me trying to piece it together. Mom knew what I was doing, she was just going to let me find the memory myself. Sure enough, there was the candle sitting by Susi’s ashes.

After the memorial, they ask around to see who wanted to take the candle home. Everyone knew I wanted it because as soon as I heard mention of it I jumped up from my seat. Then I realized maybe somebody else would want it so I conceded back to my seat hoping nobody saw my reaction. It was my memory… every time I light this candle I will think of Sus and because it’s one of my favorite candles… I will light it often.

The day before yesterday I realized the candle had come back out. Just yesterday I got on to the website to buy one and about had a break down remembering that Susi wouldn’t get one this year. Man, this memories thing is rough. Sus is in so many of my memories and they keep coming up here and there. I can be outside walking and for no reason she just pops into my head.

There may be more posts like this and if they depress you I apologize. Sometimes I just need to vent and my venting looks like this. My heart screams and I write down what it’s upset about.