Ya’ll. I haven’t been doing great with my eating. I’m trying not to get to down on myself because it has probably been one of the more difficult years in my life what with the pandemic and not getting to see my family and friends regularly. Don’t get me wrong, I’m quite a bit of a hermit. That said, I’m surrounded by people who love me and make me do things. By “make” I mean “invite”. Like, my insides always wanted to go, but my outsides wanted to keep my own schedule and not change anything.

For breakfast I go through “McDonald’s spurts”. I track an Egg McMuffin but REALLY I get a sausage, egg and cheese McMuffin. It’s like, I’m just running a little behind so I would rather grab breakfast on my way to work. If it were the only meal I was splurging on for the day it would be ok but dinner is my weak spot overall. Some days I do fine. Yes, I have bacon almost every day. I buy center cut and it’s only 1 point so I feel like it’s worth the splurge. When I eat breakfast at home 90% of the time it’s fine points-wise. If I could teach myself to drink black coffee it would help a LOT!

I’ve been eating fine for lunch (usually). Sometimes the guys in my office get what we lovingly call “Cheap Chinese”. It’s got to be so many more points than what I actually track. I’m trying to get away from that though. Lunch is the one place I bring my lunch and can eat it instead of anything else. I love beef and broccoli and I miss having it sometimes so I get that. I DID quit getting egg rolls (usually, I lapse occasionally). They hurt my stomach now and they’re so greasy. I just can’t do both.

For dinner I’ve been ordering Mexican food quite a bit (once or twice a week probably). I order fajitas and split them in 2 so I have 2 meals. If that was it I would probably be ok. No, it comes with chips and I split the chips too. I eat the fajitas with the wraps that come with them and then the next day I make the fajitas into tacos. Like I said, the fajitas aren’t so bad, but once I have everything ready to eat it’s just so much food. Honestly I could probably make it in to 3 meals and NOT eat the fajita shells and be full for all 3 meals. When I make dinner myself it’s so much healthier. I need to get back into that habit (and utilize my grill because I love grilling!).

Mentally I’ve just let myself get this way. I justify it. I try not to give myself such a hard time. What I need to do is start getting back in the habit of “streaks”. How many days/weeks can I get where I track EVERYTHING and stay in my point allowance? That’s what I need to do. I was doing so well at the beginning when it was new and I hadn’t been sequestered in my house for months on end. I need the competition, even if it’s with myself.

I have found myself being so passive lately. This is fine. That’s fine. It’s fine. That’s, quite honestly, not me. I’m very particular and have a competitive streak. I miss not having to think about my clothes when I put them on. I put them on now and all I can think is “I put 4 pounds back on.” Man I was doing so well! I was down 15 pounds since I started WW! I had big goals! Now all I can think about is that I tracked my Cheerios but I ate about 5 servings and I only tracked one. Or, I’m tracking my Mexican food as completely something else because I can’t find the restaurant in my tracker. I’ve got to get my butt back in line!

What a mess I’ve become. This pandemic has really messed with me on all fronts. I’m not ready to go back out and be normal in society again. I’m not ready to stay at home by myself again all of the time. I’m eating terrible. I want to go to the gym but am I ready? I DON’T KNOW. AHHHHHHHHH! If I could rewind back to a year and a month ago, going to the gym again was just how I lived my life. Life has just changed and I’m not adapting very well!

Getting back in line is my new goal. Keeping my actual points. Measuring out foods. Staying in my point range for the week – not including exercise points. Not yet. Eventually I will need them when I start working out again but for now I shouldn’t use them. Ok, here goes! Cheers to getting back in line!