Let’s talk about being 40 for a minute. I turned 40 this year. The month(s) leading up to my birthday I really fought it. I mean, I’ve never felt like that before. It was like impending death. If I accepted the day was coming, I may as well hop in a grave and wait for them to start shoveling.

I spent the week or so prior to my birthday weeping about stupid things. I have NEVER been someone who does that. I get sad at things that are sad sure, but crying for no reason, I don’t do that (often). I would just THINK about my birthday and tears would come to my eyes. It was SO ridiculous… but I couldn’t stop it.

Not only that but I refused to do ANYTHING. Like, people were trying to get me to make plans to get together and I just wanted to lay down and be by myself. I turned down my buddy (Jess) who turned 40 2 days after I did. I turned down my mom. I just wanted to be alone until I got a phone call from mom saying QUIT BEING UNCOOPERATIVE AND GO OUT TO DINNER WITH ME OR JESS. So I made plans to meet my family for dinner on the Friday after my birthday.

The day my birthday came was a good day. I went to work. I heard a whole bunch of well-wishes from friends I hear from all of the time and from friends I barely ever hear from. It felt nice hearing from all of my family – I love them all so much. Then after work I went hiking which is EXACTLY what I wanted to do.

My birthday passed and it was like someone took the weights I was carrying on my shoulders and put them back on the rack. I felt lighter. I felt happy all of the time. Joy consumed me and I felt like myself again. I still can’t fathom how a birthday could have done that to me.

Friday came, which was Jess’s birthday. I wished her a happy birthday and then went to my parent’s house where we were meeting to go out to dinner. I rode over to El Vaquero (my favorite Mexican restaurant) with my little brother and started looking through the building for my mom, dad, other brother and sister-in-law. Finally we found them and OH EM GEE YOU GUYS, so many of my family and friends were there. My parents, brother and sister-in-law, aunts and uncles, cousins, cousin’s boyfriend and even my friends from training were there! THEN, Jess came in who I thought was at a game and wasn’t going to be there!

My heart was exploding with happiness and there was no way to express myself at that moment in time. It all just kind of came out in a squeak and a face of tears. It’s like, I didn’t want this birthday to come, and when I had finally accepted and adjusted to it, I got this enormous surprise. I can’t explain how I felt but it was really good!

That night we feasted. I opened gifts and they even got me and Jess a cake (which was SO good). Come to find out my cousins had planned the whole event. I had NO IDEA. I mean, when mom pulled rank and MADE me come because I was still being a whiny baby, I had an idea that my brothers and SIL would be there but I didn’t even know that for sure.

Oh what a night that was. I am seriously surrounded by some of the kindest, most-thoughtful people in the world. Don’t try to tell me your family and friends are better because no matter how crazy mine may be or could be, they’re still the very best!

Now, yes, there were further shenanigans over the weekend, and I will leave you with some photos, but other than that the weekend will remain a memory in my head (mostly) and, let’s be honest here, several bruises I can’t explain on my arms and legs.